Good for all to read and not just the married ones.
• Marriage is worth struggling and fighting for
• Marriage is not built upon love, its built upon ISLAM AND IHSAAN (concept of Ihsaan is excellent)
• Break the cycle - we don’t have to live the marriage of our parents, we create our own marriage traditions
• To all, esp brothers, when you are angry at your spouse, stop and say, I forgive you - say it with your tongue and your heart will hear it and deal with it
• Everyone has the capacity to forgive
• The best pleasure in this dunya is *a righteous spouse* (hadeeth)
• A spouse is not someone who you want to spend your live with but someone to spend with for eternity
• Everyone single will be married in Jannah - pure happiness is the state of being married
• Rasulullah (saw) was more loving inside the home than he (saw) outside
• The first thing that Rasulullah (saw) did when he (saw) entered the house was to kiss his (saw) wife
• Reference of marriage in the Qur’an: protecting garment, mawaddah, rahmah - reflect what we represent to our spouses
• Proposal mentioned in the Quran: Prophet Musa (as) - the woman spoke to him, they interacted modestly, he worked with her father
• Rasulullah saw and Khadija ra - they were in business together, had business transactions, familiar w each other characters
• Ask ourselves: Do I make my spouse feel lucky to have me? Do I give that feeling of insecurity, inferiority to our spouses?
• Are we busy taking care of our hearts that we break the hearts of spouses?
• Fear Allah swt w our spouses
• When things are difficult, when relationships are not working as we hope, remember only Allah Taala doesn’t disappoint us. Only He is the perfect One. Our spouses are creations just like us, who are flawed. Even Rasulullah (saw) who is the perfect man disagreed with his (saw) wife
Finding happiness in marriage, Yasmin Mogahed
• We wont fill the void in our hearts by getting married. Only Allah Taala can fill the void
• Only one source of healing is Allah Taala
• no human being can fix us up, its not the job of a creation, onnly the Creator may fix our hearts
• Generosity in marriage cant happen unless we are full inside (our hearts are not void)
• Love with giving not taking
• When we beg from Allah Taala, He elevates us. When we beg from creations, we are humiliated
• Do not be attached to the dunya. When we are not attached to people, people will love you
• Love without attachment, love without dependency
Sh Yahya Ibrahim,
*Rasulullah (saw) said treat your wife well, and never said to women to treat the husband well. Why? Because the right is MORE for the wives for the husbands to care and love them.
Lessons from Rasulullah (saw), for the husbands:
1. When you eat, feed her
2. When you buy yourself something, buy something to her
3. Let your wife sit where you sit
4. What you expect and ask from your wife, you must be able to also give her
5. Express your love
6. Sadaqah that has more barakah is to your family - give gifts often
7. Give more than you take
